Just got back from Batman Begins. Kicks A**. Check for a proper review later on Friday.

I haven’t disclosed many details about my new love because one, the Wife is very jealous, and two, this is a geek sort of love. But now that Websters’ added the word wedgie to the dictionary, geeks have risen and my lust is appropriate.

Here is a brief feature list:
1) Gray.
2) Comes with a contract
3) Returnable. Sort of.
4) Not available in all areas.
5) Photographic memory and recall.
6) Stylish lines and curves
7) Lightweight.

It is not this cat, but it had everything to do with this picture.

So who is it? For starters, it’s a what, not a who.

Yes! A Treo. At last my own web browser, text message, email, cellphone, digital camera, personal digital assistant. Like my stepfather says, the difference between a man and a boy is the price of the toy.

Fans of Resovoir Dogs, a film by Quentin Tarantino that was cool, remember the scene in the diner where the bad guys clashed over tipping. A crucial scene from a logistics standpoint, for no crew commits felonies on empty stomachs. Now, the baddies considered tipping a good and healthy practice. Every baddie minus Mr. Orange.

Mr. Orange ( Tim Roth ) argued that a waitress wasn’t any different from a cashier at McDonalds. Both served food, handled money and walked to and from the kitchen. To Mr. Orange the jobs were identical, thus the waitress deserved the same gratuity as the cashier. The other baddies blasted Mr. Orange for this stance. After five minutes of Labor and Bureau statistics they finally shamed the tightwad. He tipped, but with extreme prejudice and reservation.

Now the irony: Mr. Orange was the only surrvivor of the crime spree. So this begs several questions. First, is there a karmic consequence to stiffing the waiter/waitress? Second, is the seventeen percent guideline fair and reasonable? Lastly, have you seen what your favorite celebrity tips?

Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday to the Wife.

I’m in the middle of an affair and The Wife knows about every last sundry detail. Rather than cast me to the wolves, The Wife basks in the glow of amour, because she shares my love.

Before you dial up divorce court and Jerry Springer, let me explain. On the 19th we fled New Jersey seeking excitement and relaxation. Two minutes past the New Hampshire border and Maine was all I could talk about. It was pure lust and every minute, magical.

Maine is a fantastic place oozing with friendly people, tasteful homes, pristine coastlines and marvelous sprawling woods. But wait, there’s more! Maine, unlike New Jersey, also believes there is a United States Constitution and Bill of Rights that applies to its citizens. Sweet.

The purpose of the excursion was three fold. First, to enjoy our annual vacation. Second, to sail the Penobscot bay aboard the Victory Chimes. And third, to see a good friend from the Old Country ( Syracuse, NY ) marry the love of his life. As good as they look together, being around them feels twice as good. They are a great couple – both from great families – and I’m proud to know them. Their wedding ( itself a study in perfection ) was the icing on the cake – a fantastic ending to a vacation.

Later this week I’ll post a play by play of the trip. In the meantime, enjoy the new gallery, poll and picture of the week. Have a comment? Use the brand new comments feature to sound off!