The Legend of Ricky Bobby met and exceeded my expectations. This is no mean feat, since there were lots of snippets in the trailers or circulating the Internet.

It might just be the hick in me — I was born in Kansas — but this is a great movie to laugh with. Films like this make the case for race car driving as the nation’s sport. After all, I’m not aware of any football stadiums that hold 200,000 people.

What works:
1) Cast – all skilled, all in the right place. Will Ferrell is da’Man!
2) Comedy – well executed and delivered. Not a clunker in the bunch.
3) Pacing – everything flows, no weak points.
4) Story – believable enough, and ridiculous in a good way.

Verdict: Funny film without being infantile. For NASCAR, comedy, or Will Ferrell fans — a must see. Theater or DVD purchase.

With moderately placed hopes, I saw this film hoping for something between average and good. Instead, I got disaster.

Historically, I like Michael Mann’s direction style, and in particular his most recent projects, including Collateral and Ali. I also count myself as a fan of the original television show, Miami Vice, which he directed. Considered it very much ahead of its time, while being a reflection of the Eighties cocaine and glossy neon and pastel era.

But this was…ahem…my exact words when the closing credits started, “What a fucking piece of crap.” I said this loud enough that The Wife scolded me because people stared at us. Hell, it was an R-movie. I’m not responsible for the twelve delinquents that told their parents they were seeing Barnyard. And besides, no one disagreed.

What works about this movie:
1) Concept. Revisiting the glory days of a great show with a new cast and crew was an idea with good intentions. Maybe in someone else’s hands, it could have been SWAT. I wanted to believe it might work.
2) It does end.

What needs improvement:
1) Cast. Colin Farrell – not a good fit for his character. Jamie Foxx, too talented for a project so weak.
2) Budget. Less money on hookers for Colin, more on cameras. 135 million dollars for something shot on a digital video camera that failed to keep up with the transition from well lit to poorly lit environments? Uh-huh, don’t think so, homey. Many scenes the picture was grainy. Not a little, either. I’m talking visible colored blobs of static, dancing around on X.
3) Story. Might have worked as a sixty minute television show. Had no business being stretched to 110 minutes.
4) Soundtrack. I would have preferred no music to these arrangements. Again, what works as background noise for a trailer, doesn’t hold up for a whole film.

Verdict: A disappointment. Change the channel when it comes to cable.

Jack Black is funny. Very funny. Nacho Libre proves he has the stuff of champions.

In a follow effort from Jared Hess — the genius behind Napolean Dynamite — comes a tale of a man with one dream, one vision, one true religion. He may be a friar, but when he wears tight pants and a mask, and steps in the wrestling ring, this man of God will rock you. Actually he gets his butt kicked quite a bit, in a humorous way.

Stuck serving meals to orphans, Nacho yearns for a chance to be important and dish up something besides beans and chips. Wrestling might be his ticket to a better life for himself and food that does not give the boss diarrhea.

The humor is off beat, the timing left of center, and the plot unconventional. Just perfect. Loved it.

What works about this movie:
1) The premise is both ridiculous and semi-serious.
2) Casting. Besides Jack Black, everyone is average looking. Ugly monkeys perform as well as overpaid Botoxed ones. Yes!
3) Direction. Jared Hess: the funniest man in Utah. Maybe the entire Lower 48.

Verdict: Theater, DVD purchase. Both if you can handle the laughter.

The Swiss appreciate the offbeat side of life. For instance, they tolerated my two dollar ties – ah, those zany NYC street vendors – Sears and Roebuck crew cuts, and refusal to learn French. God bless Switzerland.

And in terms of cuisine they have even more interesting tastes, especially in condiments. The McDonald’s in Geneva charges for ketchup, but one condiment is free to all takers: mayonnaise. At the foothills of the Alps, mayo works overtime. Like French Fries and mayonnaise. Mayonnaise and mustard makes a tangy sauce. And for breakfast: cold cuts, eggs, champagne and tub of mayonnaise on the side. The urge to dip could strike at any time.

So in the spirit of the Swiss, I thought why not mash up some movie reviews?

The Break Up meets The Omen.

Omen Up. 2006 and Jennifer Aniston wants her half of the condominium back. She’s tired of your video games, dogs with sharp teeth, and disregard for her feelings. Well too bad for her, you are the son of the Devil. Grab hold of that landing, Ms. Aniston!

Verdict: Breakup, Omen — DVD rental.

X-Men meets Mission Impossible 3.

X-Impossible. Part of an elite team of mutants, Tom Cruise races against time to save a girl we never believe he loves. Unfortunately, Ms. Right is insane and whenever she kisses him, buildings explode and he becomes more heterosexual. And we all believe that. To keep us awake, every thirty-two minutes a major character dies.

Verdict: X-Men DVD Purchase. Mission Impossible 3: Cable. Better with malt liquor and Primus.