There are matters that defy description, and then there is a hotel in Columbus, Ohio. Normally one must leave the country to find this level of hygenic neglect. Like Sri Lanka.

Here’s a photo amalgam from the trip:

Might be blood in my hotel room. I hope.

Fire door minus a few parts.

Look! The missing parts!

Lackluster beaver

Pray for less filth, Bubba.

Now that’s good reading. Hands and shirt by clerk.

When a four-year old flips off a crowd, adults are alarmed. When the child is the winner of the Mr. Apricot contest, judges yank his crown.

Listen, judges, this is New Jersey. Often a child’s first complete sentence is F*** you. That one and ut-oh, the mailman is on mommy again. Already at four this child knows the state gesture. Good boy, former Mr. Apricot.

More about the story here: http://cbs13.com/topstories/local_story_183194617.html

The holiday weekend started off right, then turned ugly on Saturday when a massive power failure at school led to a campus wide shutdown of network services. Unfortunately, because the heating and cooling system, as well as the electronic locks, need a network to function, I got the bad news call four sips into the first cup of decaf. Eleven hours later, power returned. All was well, except a corrupted application — in the worst place. Yikes. My eyes half closed, I drove home in a stupor and deferred further thougts about it until Wednesday.

Here’s a transcript of me arguing with some toady at the Emergency Hotline for the power company:

Sam: Hi, I’m calling from the XXXX school, account number XXXX. I just wanted to know when the surpervisor and the crew will be here.
Toady: Why do you need a supervisor?
Sam: You tell me. We were promised one two hours ago. Personally, I’d prefer a crew, but whatever.
Toady: Well, the job is scheduled for today. Why do you need a supervisor?
Sam: Can you tell me when abouts?
Toady: I have no way of knowing that.
Sam: But you know it’s today?
Toady: Well, it will happen today.
Sam: Great. I tell you what. Since we are a major customer, what say you move us up in the queue?
Toady: What do you mean?
Sam: It’s not like your techs can be everywhere at once, so the jobs assignments are queued.
Toady: I don’t understand.
Sam: How about this one. We spend 30,000 a month on power. We’re not a small customer. Escalate my call to someone who knows what a queue is, or a manager.
Toady: There are no managers. They are all in the field. There’s no one to escalate the call to.
Sam: Are you saying you treat every customer the same, regardless of size?
Today: It’s the emergency hotline, all calls are treated as emergencies.
Sam: So you treat a small house the same as a company? A house that pays 41 bucks a month for utilities the same as a corporation that pays 30,000 a month?
Toady: It’s the emergency hotline. All calls are treated as emergencies.
Sam: OK, then. How about I discuss this with a manager? There are children who can’t get into their dormitories because the locks can’t function without power. If this was my private house I wouldn’t care. I’d wait it out. But think about the children.

Unfortunately, my line of reasoning — the very one so popular with those who claim that banning whatever in the name of public safety saves young lives — did not sway her. Toady not only refused to escalate the call, she insisted there were no managers available. She did promise to “increase the priority” of the ticket.

This incident marks the fourth time in two days a large company informed me that they had no managers. The other three ocassions were separate branches of the largest bank in the country. Maybe it’s the holiday season, reduced hours, vacations and so forth, but I want to know when this shift in corporate America happened. Apparently, managers are optional. Everyone just directs themselves now. Sign their own paychecks, too, I bet.

“Drivers who talk on cell phones may be just as dangerous as those who drink.”

The above is the lead in for an article at philly.com. As someone old enough to remember when drunk driving was a misdemeanor I consider the statement loaded. Incredible sounding now, but drunk driving was a sport into the early 80’s, and the police let the offenders who did not cause accidents sleep off the effects instead of breaking out the night stick.

Stiff penalties for drunk driving make sense, since the person at the wheel is no longer in control of their actions and may not be for hours. Anything might happen. The cellphone user, however, is in charge. They can terminate the call anytime, or ignore calls completely. Some do not; most drivers exercise some common sense, and limit or even avoid cell use in the car. But even if the consequence of driving drunk and dialing while driving are the same: they cause accidents, comparing the acts is a reach.

I wonder if the anti-cellphone crowd will borrow pages from the anti-drunk driving advocacy groups. When MADD started, the penalty for vehicular manslaughter while under the influence equaled a slap on the wrist. Jail time was unlikely. Each year, though, legislatures passed more stringent laws. Today the punishment fits the crime. Or at least better reflects public attitude towards the offense.

If history recycles, in time — maybe 20 years, maybe more — drivers caught on the phone even if they do not cause an accident could face license revocation, car seizure and jail. For now the punishment is a small fine.

Dial and drive it while you can, I guess. And please, don’t drink and call your friends at 3am. Or the last three exes. It’s not illegal, just pathetic.