I was chatting with a friend who’s totally fed up with the dating scene. Below is a transcript. Screennames changed to protect the innocent.

[22:18] crazybuddy: im thinking of taking myself out for a date

[22:18] crazybuddy: the question is do i try and get myself drunk?

[22:18] sam: that depends, do you need to? will you take no for an answer?

[22:19] crazybuddy: maybe. will i respect myself in the morning?

[22:20] sam: probably not, I’m betting.

[22:20] crazybuddy: should i splurge? go all out? get the apple martini?

[22:20] sam: oh yeah, spare no expense. nice bottle of Merlot. at least 5 bucks.

[22:21] crazybuddy: do i pick myself up? or meet me there?

[22:21] crazybuddy: where do i go afterwards?

[22:22] sam: somewhere private. like your closet.

[22:24] crazybuddy: damn. i hate dating

[22:25] crazybuddy: already i don’t see much hope for a second date

[22:25] crazybuddy: i’m afraid i only want one thing

[22:25] crazybuddy: do i even want to get to know the real me?

[22:25] sam: I don’t know the real you, so…

[22:27] crazybuddy: should i reply to my text messages?

[22:27] crazybuddy: or wait for 24 hours play hard to get….

[23:06] crazybuddy: all right

[23:06] crazybuddy: i go bed now

[23:06] crazybuddy: and think about where i’m going to take me

Someone was bound to publish an SMS novel–a manuscript consisting entirely of text messages–and now Hannu Luntiala is that author.

Talk about pushing the envelope of literary trends and social conventions. A facsimile reproduction of more than 1000 text messages, The Last Page documents the travels of a fictitious IT executive on a vision quest. For now, The Last Page is available only in Finnish, but with any luck, the publisher will ship an English translation someday.

Mr. Rogers is a hero of mine. Yes, that Mr. Rogers, the beautiful day in the neighborhood man. As a child I watched his show daily. So why the approbations for the elder TV personality? Well, beneath his sensitive exterior, this Presbyterian minister packed mafia don clout.

Right from Wikipedia:

On the eve of the announcement that Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood would cease production of new episodes, TV Guide interviewed Rogers and led the story with an anecdote. Apparently, Rogers had been driving the same car for years, an old second-hand Impala. Then it was stolen from its parking spot near the WQED studio. Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by local news outlets, and general shock swept across town. Within 48 hours, the car was back in the spot where he left it, along with a note saying “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it!”

First Rule of the neighborhood: You do not boost Mr. Roger’s ride. The second rule: If you boosted his ride, put it back, yo.

More on Mr. Rogers.

Good news, experts solved the mystery of the exploding toads. Hint: It’s nothing to do with explosives, or demonic people with too much time on their hands.