Every tenant in the building received a note from the landlord this week about “The Situation”. But this situation was even more embarrassing than the “actor” from Seaside by way of somewhere-else-not-sure-but-it-isn’t-New-Jersey.

Anyway here’s an excerpt of the missive about the plumbing disaster of the past week:

The following items will clog the plumbing:
1) Grease
2) Large food waste items
3) Baby wipes
4) Female hygiene products
5) Kitty Litter
6) Drano
7) Long hair
8) Paper towels.

Now I must admit I have been tempted to pour grease down the kitchen drain on occasion, the occasion being laziness. It cannot be alleged that on the rare days of the big bastard greasy breakfast, a bit of grease has never found its way down the pipes. Not a point alleged by me, anyway.

Certainly the landlord has a right to request that none of these items enter the plumbing system. No one wants a clogged pipe, much less water leaking into, around or down into their apartment. Going forward, any grease from the big bastard breakfast will go in a pickle jar kept for storage purposes.

So the hardship of this sacrifice does not really inconvenience me. No, I worry about the other occupants. My fellow tenants with four legs.

If my cats can’t flush their long hair encrusted in kitty litter bombs sealed in paper towels and follow it down with some grease blobs and a bottle of Drano, gosh what fun does the Cat Army have left to them?

Guess it’s back to the street gang for them again.