On average for every two phone messages I leave, one person returns the call. That number includes business matters. If work related messages are excluded, the ratio plummets to three messages per callback. Boy, what a harsh view on the state of my communication skills.

Sometimes the odds are better, sometimes slightly worse, but over time those are the metrics. Looking at my own call history, I want to believe I am more responsive. I might be. But I drink from the same well.

And there are reasons to not return a call. Valid, rational explanations. For instance, the caller on the message is drunk; it’s 3AM; it’s the last person in the world I want to deal with; I was gone for the weekend and the spontaneous invitation no longer applies because the date passed.

Also, by their nature some messages do not require a reply, so I understand when someone does not. A friend that drives a long way home from dinner just wants to let you know they arrived safely. In that case, their message closes the loop. They need no further reassurance.

Over the next week, I will be more aware of when I avoid calling people back, and why.