When a four-year old flips off a crowd, adults are alarmed. When the child is the winner of the Mr. Apricot contest, judges yank his crown.

Listen, judges, this is New Jersey. Often a child’s first complete sentence is F*** you. That one and ut-oh, the mailman is on mommy again. Already at four this child knows the state gesture. Good boy, former Mr. Apricot.

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