Every time it looks like New Jersey politics have sunken to the absolute pits of human behavior, it turns out that the sinkhole is far deeper than anyone imagined.

In a shocking move, the governor of New Jersey, James McGreevey resigned yesterday. During the press conference the governor announced that he was a gay American. This was a bombshell to the 10th degree. Before that I never thought of him as gay or an American, just one perpetually pissed off dude with duck lips.

But what an American, even an American who is politically enabled does in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Provided everyone involved is a consenting adult, and no local ordinances or dishes were broken, the public can live without the details. Even then we can deal with just the minimum amount of information. Like what color were the broken dishes? Were they on sale?

Citing the potential damage that the allegations surrounding the affair might cause his family and his ability to govern he decided to resign, effective November 15th. The fact that his administration has been mired from day one with accusations of corruption, cronyism or ties with organized crime did not factor into his resignation. This leads me to a startling conclusion.

Apparently being a gay American is far worse to the New Jersey electorate than being a toady for the Mob. By the way, if anyone from La Cosa Nostra is reading this, I love the Mafia. Keep up the good work, guys. I’m in your corner all the way.

Why not resign immediately? If McGreevey resigns before November 15th then a pesky little thing called an election must be held. Believe it or not, in this most foul year of our Lord 2004, New Jersey is seen by pundits as a swing state; one that could go either Republican or Democrat in the November presidential race.

And why shouldn’t New Jersey be a swing state? Heck, our own governor took 47 years to make up his mind about his sexual identity. Are we in New Jersey any less ambivalent about our feelings as voters?

To those of you who see this as yet another step towards anarchy and the decline of Western Civilization, I say this: Welcome to Jersey, gombah. We’re already in hell, and we liked the bus ride here just fine, thank you.