A former colleague got me thinking about this client we used to service. While staffed with the nicest people in the world, this company also held the record for the most ridiculous expectations.

Here’s a sample:

Client: The application can start my car right?
sam: Tragically, no.
Client: Surely this can be implemented.
sam: Never. That’s just not possible. Not an option.
Client: So how long will it take you to make that work?

And another:

Client: Can we have electronic fulfillment for our hardware orders?
sam: Right after I fix the glitches in the teleporter.
Client: I knew the application could start my car!

Ah, those were the days. They started off with Pepto-Bismol and ended with many Newcastles.