Scientists unraveled a new theory about the Internet this week that may change your life! All Internet traffic now belongs to one of two categories: pornography or spam.

This makes sense, because every 10 minutes another spam hits my inbox with a link to an adult web site, comes on for bigger breasts, free Viagra or Paris Hilton live in my hotel room tonight.

Well, my breasts are just fine thank you. If anything less would be better. Paris Hilton seems OK, but when traveling without your significant other it’s best not to summon anyone to your hotel room except room service. I’ll ask the wife about the Viagra thing just to be safe, but I’m pretty sure we don’t need it.

Now, you may be asking yourself, self why is sam boring me to tears with this factoid? Golly gee, sam I’ve known this about the Internet since 1997. Get a clue sam – it’s all pornspam. Or spamporn. Go take a remedial Internet awareness course sam!

Here’s my point. I manage to surf at least an hour of day, and none of it involves adult sites. And I’m going to bet you do too and so do millions of others. Hence, my point is – the hell with statistics. Statistics lie. Statistics are numbers that just can’t get seem to get their story straight.

Unless of course they get me a book deal, in which case I love them.