I’m fighting the urge to wax philosophical today as it is my birthday. But no! I will instead be entertaining, or fall down trying. Warning, I’m old now (31), so I might fall down the stairs at any time.

So the wife and I went to the vet last night for the boy’s checkup and annual inoculations and it was bad juju all around.

Vet: Look sam, your cat has got to lose weight.
sam: What about the wife’s cat? Doesn’t her cat need to lose weight?
Vet: Actually, her cat needs to gain weight.
sam: Well maybe her cat shouldn’t leave her dinner bowl half full where Oedipus can get to it, hmmm?

Then the vet showed me pictures of a cat from three different angles, overhead, side and head on. Studying the massive paunch around the pictured cat’s midsection it was clear to me there was a problem.

Vet: Now having seen those pictures what do you notice about Oedipus?
sam: The cat in the picture needs to lose weight.
Vet: And don’t you think your cat looks just like the cat in the picture?
sam: Not at all. Oedipus is much better looking.