One thing the agent requested along with the revisions was a document listing the changes made to the manuscript; it’s a firm condition for further consideration. Although I had the fortitude to record the edits in the moment, a series of cuts and insertions sprinkled throughout altered the page numbering slightly. Which made the document less helpful as a reference point for the agent.

And so today I spent five hours vetting the change matrix and making sure each revision traced back to the indicated page and chapter. Right up there with watching enamel paint dry in terms of excitement. More interesting was seeing the contributions of Kerry and Oriana in the book. Ever since the last major revision, I suspected minor glitches were lurking about, but damned if I could spot them. Like cracks in a ceiling. after a certain point, the mind fools the eyes into looking around–and not at–the creases. In the end I had a table spanning eleven pages, with clean and consistent designations.

The Last Track is now two pages longer and just under 90,000 words. Getting there meant modifying about five percent of the manuscript.

Which brings me back to the entry title, which is somewhat dubious because the fear is truly a beast with a two-pronged pitchfork. So maybe “The Fears” fits better.Like for starters, did I change the right five percent? After all, that’s a lot of ink left untouched. Maybe one more scene needed a face-lift.

And of what I revised, did I, as Tim Gunn says, “Make it work.” I suppose that kind of failure is worse changing something that did not need correction. That in fact, is worse than missing the problem in the first place. But the new content might have weakened the finished product, and I’m no longer in a position to be certain about that. Too many months and years staring at the same ceiling.

Ultimately, both possibilities are largely irrelevant.

What matters is following the project through to the end. And on Sunday night when I e-mail the manuscript and table this phase is over.