With moderately placed hopes, I saw this film hoping for something between average and good. Instead, I got disaster.

Historically, I like Michael Mann’s direction style, and in particular his most recent projects, including Collateral and Ali. I also count myself as a fan of the original television show, Miami Vice, which he directed. Considered it very much ahead of its time, while being a reflection of the Eighties cocaine and glossy neon and pastel era.

But this was…ahem…my exact words when the closing credits started, “What a fucking piece of crap.” I said this loud enough that The Wife scolded me because people stared at us. Hell, it was an R-movie. I’m not responsible for the twelve delinquents that told their parents they were seeing Barnyard. And besides, no one disagreed.

What works about this movie:
1) Concept. Revisiting the glory days of a great show with a new cast and crew was an idea with good intentions. Maybe in someone else’s hands, it could have been SWAT. I wanted to believe it might work.
2) It does end.

What needs improvement:
1) Cast. Colin Farrell – not a good fit for his character. Jamie Foxx, too talented for a project so weak.
2) Budget. Less money on hookers for Colin, more on cameras. 135 million dollars for something shot on a digital video camera that failed to keep up with the transition from well lit to poorly lit environments? Uh-huh, don’t think so, homey. Many scenes the picture was grainy. Not a little, either. I’m talking visible colored blobs of static, dancing around on X.
3) Story. Might have worked as a sixty minute television show. Had no business being stretched to 110 minutes.
4) Soundtrack. I would have preferred no music to these arrangements. Again, what works as background noise for a trailer, doesn’t hold up for a whole film.

Verdict: A disappointment. Change the channel when it comes to cable.