It’s easy to write a negative movie review; but instead of panning a film that misses the mark – so far I have abstained from commenting on such movies. That’s been the foundational rule of the reviews here at samhilliard.com. However, in the interest of public safety and community wellness, sometimes rules must be broken.

Less than an hour ago, I suffered through 79 minutes of pure, 100 percent unadulterated crap. Any more crappy and the screen would’ve turned brown. Open Water is an awful movie on every level.

The premise, a term used loosely here – take a couple on vacation and separate them from the dive boat. And that’s the whole movie. Looking for a plot twists? Dialog that’s interesting? Characters you don’t want to push down the stairs? A camera that’s held by someone who’s sober? Sorry, please try again.

15 minutes in, I was begging for the sharks to put me out of my misery and eat the couple. The only thing that would make this movie better is a full refund and an apology.

I booed along with several other people during the credits.

Verdict: Open Water = BAD. Don’t see it, don’t rent it, don’t watch it on cable or the Lifetime network.