Despite the hype machine, I braved Troy this weekend. Let me explain a few things about my love/hate relationship with period pieces. Unless the backdrop of the period piece is the Roman Empire, WWII or the 1920’s, I hate them. But reading that they spent 200 million dollars to make Troy and that it offered a chance to see how little fat was left on Brad Pitt’s body proved too powerful a lure to resist. Besisdes, the wife had free movies passes.

It’s true, Brad Pitt was in the physical condition of his life. Unfortunately, the director and screenwriters were not. The story was convoluted and loaded with weak characters. Now honestly, all that does not necessarily a bad movie make. Had the plot been less mediocre, it might have slid by. Alas the plot is but a single slice of Swiss cheese left at the feet of crazed field mice.

The direction was choppy and the editing looked like it was done in the back of a 1969 Dodge Charger on Memorial Day Weekend. At points the frames of film shook. Literally.

Three good things about Troy:

1) Helen was cute. She might not launch a thousand ships, but she can launch at least one cruise missile.

2) The recreation of the mythical Troy was believable ( trust me – it looks good ).

3) Brad Pitt is the new Terminator.

Three bad things about Troy:

1) The director.

2) The editor.

3) The screenwriter.

I didn’t dislike this movie but I didn’t like it enough to recommend paying full price. Matinee or video rental this one.