I’m dying, of that I’m certain, of what is less clear. For the past 72 hours my ears, eyes, sinus cavity and chest have been under constant attack. Is this the flu? Ah, it feels much worse than any mere flu.
The disease also has brain wasting properties. My lack of concentration levels rivals only those born after 1997, the very age group which scientists proved recently to be brain dead. You’re unaware of said theorem? According to doctor once employed by the Weekly World News, Gameboy + McDonald’s + No exercise = Reduced brain wave activity. And just think we’ve got a whole generation of them.
At present, I can concentrate just long enough to write the blog, then must blow my nose and wash my hands so as not to infect the wife with this toxic agent.
Is there a doctor reading this? Based on my symptoms tell me, how long do I have left? I can take it. I’ve known the bitter taste of rejection. This current setback is just one chapter of longer tale. Oh yes, I shall prevail. Even over insurmountable odds and deadly afflictions.
Excuse me please, it’s time for another trip to the bathroom.