I’m wrestling with my second ear infection of the winter. My doctor has been on my case about this for some time. Because of the number of infections I had since being a smaller version of my present self, there’s quite a bit of permanent damage to my middle ear. Combined with tinnitus, I’m down to about 60 percent of my hearing. Where this condition is going is unknown. The doctor told me about some surgical options, but I’m holding out for something less invasive.

Here’s 4 things good about losing some of my hearing:
1) I get to stare at people’s lips when they’re talking and have an excuse for it. Some of you out there need to try some chapstick. Please.
2) Rap music is pleasant now. The ringing filters out words like mutha***** and b**** and c***, not to mention s*** and w****. Another plus : Die, Whitey Die! – rolls right by.
3) I can sleep through my cat snoring.
4) I can sleep through my own snoring.

You know what? So far I’m ahead on this deal.